Beauty Isn't Everywhere

Recently, one of my classmates said to me, “Chloe, what do you hate about India?” I couldn’t come up with an immediate response for her. I just said, that honestly, I think it is too soon for me to make any judgments. I’ve only been here for two months, and there is still so much I don’t know and don’t understand. But it got me thinking. There is a lot of beauty in this country, the people, the foods, the fabric, the exotic plants, the intricate dances, the extraordinary jewelry, the temples and palaces…but there is so much about this culture, which to me, is not beautiful.
First of all is the discrimination between the castes of people. Mahatma Gandhi worked all his life to bring peace, and abolish the caste system. But today, I still see so much segregation. Caste in this society is really a resilient force. Many people disagree with it, but it is so deep rooted; a perpetual circle that cannot be broken. Once in class, I asked a girl to explain the caste system to me. She was telling me about how it began, when different groups of people had distinct responsibilities in society. There were royal families, learned scholars, businesspeople, laborers, and untouchables. She began to explain how over the generations, these castes expanded, and people of different religions, or different areas of India, were given different statuses within society. She was trying to explain which people were viewed as the highest and another girl in my class who was sitting with us said, “Don’t tell her [me] that. You’re only saying they’re the highest because that is your caste.” They got into an argument about the status of people, and how the different castes are still viewed in society. Both of them had previously told me that the caste system does not exist anymore, and most people no longer judge people because of their last name, or the color of their skin. But they were so quick to get in an argument to defend their own castes, it is clear to me that this is something that still runs in the veins of all people.
Another thing that really upsets me is the inequality between men and women. I know that women still receive less pay than men in the US, and that education and job opportunities can be unevenly distributed, but, at least to me, it is not that evident in society. At home, I feel like I can do anything with my life, if there is a career I want to pursue, I can achieve it. At home, women have more rights and freedoms, more opportunities. It is amazing to me how many women here do not work; most of my classmates say their mothers are housewives. It really saddens me to see how husbands view their wives as being weak, and dominate over their every move. My host mom Neeta, a very hard-working and successful gynecologist, has explained a lot of this to me, because she is very independent, and she also hates to see wives so reliant on their husbands. She told me that often times, it is husbands who call to make an appointment for their wife, and that they will stay through the consultation, to know the situation, and make the final decision over what to do. Many women do not drive, and have to rely on their husbands or a driver. Many women agree to the idea that they should not say their husband’s name in public. For example, if it were my parents, my mom would have to say “Chloe’s Papa”! Some husbands choose the sari and jewelry their wife wears before leaving the house. All of these restrictions on women really bother me, but what upsets me the most is that the women accept it. We went to a grocery store the other week, called Big Bazaar. To enter the store, you have to take an escalator from the street level entrance. I asked Neeta why so many women were waiting outside of the store, and she said that they are afraid of taking the escalator, so clearly, in their minds, they feel weaker than their husbands. Many women today have a more modern view, and want to make their own living and pursue successful careers, but still the inequality in the numbers is astonishing. In the newspaper, I see articles about the rural villages, where wives are bought and sold, and young children are put into arranged marriages. This is an aspect of this culture that many people try to ignore, but because everything is so new to me, I cannot just forget about it, and act like this inequality doesn’t exist. The saddest part to me is the treatment of baby girls. For most families, having a boy child is ideal, and baby girls are just seen as a burden. Neeta has told me that, more often than I would ever think, pregnant women will have an abort their pregnancy if they know it is a girl. Or that women who have daughters, will continue having children until they get a son. A few weeks ago, Neeta was called in for an emergency cesarean. A 48-year-old woman with 6 daughters was pregnant again, after several miscarriages. The woman had a placenta previa, and when Neeta got to the hospital, there was no fetal heart beat due to the internal bleeding, and everyone thought that the child had died. When she did the cesarean, the baby was alive, and it turned out to be a son. Though the mother could have died from so much blood loss, all that mattered to her was that she finally had a son.
Everything about my experience here in the last two months has been eye opening, and though it is not all ‘pretty’, I am so glad I have come here. I am witness to a different culture; a different way of life, and what I think it has taught me is to never take for granted what I have at home.