I've returned to the dusty, noisy, and over-crowded city that I temporarily call home. It's strange, but after a month of traveling, I feel as if my year here in India is complete. I know I still have 2 months here. That's 8 weeks! That's 56 more days!
Some times, I think about that figure, and it seems so small. How am I going home so soon? What have I been doing here, what have I seen and experienced? Is there anything else I want to do before I leave? Yet other days I think about my time left, and I feel my homecoming couldn't come soon enough. I can't wait to see my family and friends. I can't wait to see my town and my house and see how everything has changed, yet also remained the same.
Two days back, after unpacking my suitcase and sending all of my clothes for washing, I couldn't bring myself to put my suitcase back up on the shelf where I keep it. I just had the desire to pack up my suitcase! I tested to see if my novels fit in the grooves of the metal frame. I tested to see if I could manage zipping my suitcase shut with my hula hoop inside. Then, I went through my two dressers and desk, putting aside all of the things I am planning to leave behind in India.
But what is it, that is subconsciously driving me to do this? I know that ideally, I would want to come home before May 1st. I want to visit my Grandma and family in Ohio, I want to see my parents and friends, and I want to be productive with my time (ie. A JOB). But also, I don't want to cut short my time here in India. I should complete my goal of 10 months in India, and not leave after just 8. Besides the three things that I mentioned that are pulling me to want to come home, there also seems to be a general 'nothingness' going on here, that is pushing me to go home. I hope that I'm making sense.
All I mean is that aside from my tours with the exchange students, my mom and aunt visiting, and the exciting Hindu festivals, my life here is pretty ho-hum. I am extremely appreciative of my host parents, who have done so much for me; arranging mehendi and art classes, taking me on many day trips, teaching me about their culture and customs, taking me to I think 10 Indian weddings, taking me shopping, and to see movies, and to swim at the health club, and giving me the opportunity to try every new Indian food! But they are so protective (for good reason, I know), I have never been able to discover anything on my own. No matter how much I tried to convince my self that it wasn't, school here was pretty much a failure. And frankly, the rest of my time is spent in our house, in the quiet last lane in our colony, reading, watching movies, dancing, doing mehendi, anything to pass the time.
In two days, I will be making my first host family switch. According to Rotary Youth Exchange guidelines, a students usually stays with three host families, for about 3+ months each. Well Rotary in India kind of throws all of those guidelines out the window. So, for that reason, after 7.5 months, I am making my first switch. But that family that I am going to (two doctors and three senior citizens...) can only host me for a week. Their situation has changed a bit, with the wife fracturing her wrist and the son's wedding date being preponed to early June. So after a week, I will move in with a different host family (this time for 2 weeks). Then I will be back here for my last month.
This is not the ideal situation, as I am trying to make plans as how I can spend my last two months. I have found a local non-profit, where 80 illiterate and underprivileged girls from small villages live, and they are taught basic skills in cooking, gardening, stitching, as well as health and self confidence. I visited the institute a few days ago, and while I thought it was a great place, doing a wonderful service to the women in need, I didn't see where I could fit in. It may seem like I am not trying, that I am too quick to make judgments, or that if I just go there, I will find something to do. But I am not sure yet whether I will be going there.
I have also found traditional Indian dance classes, that may be a possibility. I would love to learn Indian dance, and it is something I have been inquiring about since I first got here! I also have the opportunity to take a cooking class. This, I am certain I will do! I want to be able to come home and prepare meals for my family, and bring the traditional recipes over from India! I know I will miss the food here tremendously, and it will be great to be able to cook it for myself!
~ ~ ~
I think one of the best pieces of advice I received before coming here was from a past exchange student. He said, 'though it will be hard, try not to have any expectations of what your year will be like'. I have tried to do that here, though I have not always been successful at it, and I have been let down many times. But I feel that this advice needs to carry through to my return, I cannot have any expectations of my emotions upon departing, and I cannot have any expectations of what my life will be like back home...
Peace and Love to All.
***Good night***
Chloe
Some times, I think about that figure, and it seems so small. How am I going home so soon? What have I been doing here, what have I seen and experienced? Is there anything else I want to do before I leave? Yet other days I think about my time left, and I feel my homecoming couldn't come soon enough. I can't wait to see my family and friends. I can't wait to see my town and my house and see how everything has changed, yet also remained the same.
Two days back, after unpacking my suitcase and sending all of my clothes for washing, I couldn't bring myself to put my suitcase back up on the shelf where I keep it. I just had the desire to pack up my suitcase! I tested to see if my novels fit in the grooves of the metal frame. I tested to see if I could manage zipping my suitcase shut with my hula hoop inside. Then, I went through my two dressers and desk, putting aside all of the things I am planning to leave behind in India.
But what is it, that is subconsciously driving me to do this? I know that ideally, I would want to come home before May 1st. I want to visit my Grandma and family in Ohio, I want to see my parents and friends, and I want to be productive with my time (ie. A JOB). But also, I don't want to cut short my time here in India. I should complete my goal of 10 months in India, and not leave after just 8. Besides the three things that I mentioned that are pulling me to want to come home, there also seems to be a general 'nothingness' going on here, that is pushing me to go home. I hope that I'm making sense.
All I mean is that aside from my tours with the exchange students, my mom and aunt visiting, and the exciting Hindu festivals, my life here is pretty ho-hum. I am extremely appreciative of my host parents, who have done so much for me; arranging mehendi and art classes, taking me on many day trips, teaching me about their culture and customs, taking me to I think 10 Indian weddings, taking me shopping, and to see movies, and to swim at the health club, and giving me the opportunity to try every new Indian food! But they are so protective (for good reason, I know), I have never been able to discover anything on my own. No matter how much I tried to convince my self that it wasn't, school here was pretty much a failure. And frankly, the rest of my time is spent in our house, in the quiet last lane in our colony, reading, watching movies, dancing, doing mehendi, anything to pass the time.
In two days, I will be making my first host family switch. According to Rotary Youth Exchange guidelines, a students usually stays with three host families, for about 3+ months each. Well Rotary in India kind of throws all of those guidelines out the window. So, for that reason, after 7.5 months, I am making my first switch. But that family that I am going to (two doctors and three senior citizens...) can only host me for a week. Their situation has changed a bit, with the wife fracturing her wrist and the son's wedding date being preponed to early June. So after a week, I will move in with a different host family (this time for 2 weeks). Then I will be back here for my last month.
This is not the ideal situation, as I am trying to make plans as how I can spend my last two months. I have found a local non-profit, where 80 illiterate and underprivileged girls from small villages live, and they are taught basic skills in cooking, gardening, stitching, as well as health and self confidence. I visited the institute a few days ago, and while I thought it was a great place, doing a wonderful service to the women in need, I didn't see where I could fit in. It may seem like I am not trying, that I am too quick to make judgments, or that if I just go there, I will find something to do. But I am not sure yet whether I will be going there.
I have also found traditional Indian dance classes, that may be a possibility. I would love to learn Indian dance, and it is something I have been inquiring about since I first got here! I also have the opportunity to take a cooking class. This, I am certain I will do! I want to be able to come home and prepare meals for my family, and bring the traditional recipes over from India! I know I will miss the food here tremendously, and it will be great to be able to cook it for myself!
~ ~ ~
I think one of the best pieces of advice I received before coming here was from a past exchange student. He said, 'though it will be hard, try not to have any expectations of what your year will be like'. I have tried to do that here, though I have not always been successful at it, and I have been let down many times. But I feel that this advice needs to carry through to my return, I cannot have any expectations of my emotions upon departing, and I cannot have any expectations of what my life will be like back home...
Peace and Love to All.
***Good night***
Chloe
